|
Our Clients' Stories
K and T We have two
clients K (female) and T(Male). They
have been coming to the Vine Centre for several months (K) and years (T). We have been with them through many crises in
their lives – with their children, with their addictions and with their mental
health but after a lot of help and support, they are now engaging fully with
the Vine Centre and we are starting to see real differences in their
lives. T was scared to be in his home
alone as he felt that people would break in and harm him. When the police became involved and his home
was made safe, he then was scared to leave his home alone. K moved in to help him get back on his feet
and gradually T is now able to go out alone and to go out without his hat (his
“comfort blanket”). T has worked with
our specialist mental health worker for many months; he now also attends GASP
(Gambling, Alcohol & Substance misuse Project) twice a week and now is
almost abstinent. K has also started to
engage too. She originally met with our
specialist mental health worker and now sees a counsellor, attends GASP twice
weekly and also has 1:1 anger management.
Today, they both started on our in house catering course – My Catering
Career. They often help out volunteering
in any spare time (T is brilliant with the hoover!). When I asked them if I could tell their story
as we were so proud of the progression they have made, both K & T’s faces
lit up and said “this is the best thing that’s happened to us all week”.
L L is a 38 year old woman first referred to the Vine Centre in August 2017 for Anger Management. It was obvious, early on that L’s main problem was with her mental health and that her anger outbursts were usually caused by frustration at herself for not being able to do something that she felt she should be able to do. I met her weekly until the end of 2017 and then moved to fortnightly early in 2018. I now catch up with L when she needs to on an ad-hoc basis but usually see her briefly each week as she attends other activities at the Vine.
L suffers from very low self-esteem and so our early sessions were very focused on giving her tools to increase this. At one point, several months after she first came to the Vine, L broke down crying because I had praised her on how well she was doing – she said she was not used to praise. I ensured that encouragement and praise was part of every session.
When L first came to the Vine Centre, she had been living in her own
flat and had been there for three years. She self-harmed most weeks
and had “arguments with herself” often from frustration. We spoke
about the self-harming and I gave her some “safer self-harm” techniques which
she found useful. We focused on equipping L with ways to help her
calm when she became anxious or frustrated. Stress balls have helped
L considerably and she now has them dotted around the house for when she needs
them.
L made a decision to give up her flat and move back in with her
parents. She felt that the stress was immediately relieved and her
self-harming reduced. The move back has not been altogether
straight-forward and both before the move and since, we spoke about the need
for L to have her own space and to give her parents that too. L is
often jealous of her parents and has struggled with accepting that they do
things without her and that this is okay. Although sometimes, she
still feels pangs of jealousy, this has improved greatly over the past
year.
I noticed that L’s main episodes of self-harm or arguments with her
parents, coincided with her menstrual cycle and I suggested that L made an
appointment with her GP to discuss this. We also looked at food rich
in iron as L was also anaemic and a vegetarian. As her diet
improved, so did her mood. Her arguments with her parents have
lessened and the latter ones have been because of suppression of the desire to
self-harm. In March of 2018, L made the huge breakthrough of telling
her mum about her self-harm. She also discarded a sliver of glass
that she had kept hidden for the purpose. This has improved her
relationship with her mum and the arguments have decreased a lot.
When L first moved back home, she stopped seeing her friends and didn’t
attend many of the groups she had previously. I worked with her to
build structure to her week and she currently comes to the Vine Centre three
times a week to get help with literacy, numeracy and creative
writing. She had been volunteering at the library but gave it up
because of stress. We are now working with her to encourage her to
look at volunteering again.
Early on we experimented with different techniques to help L calm
herself when frustrated, angry or wanting to self-harm. As well as
using stress balls, the two most successful were walking and visualising her
“happy place”. I also encouraged L to write down her worries or
angers. These have now become second nature and L she uses these
automatically. I encouraged her to lessen her time on social media
and to start meeting her friends again, which she has started to
do. When the need to self-harm is overwhelming, L has taken to
pinching herself (and on one occasion biting her arm but not breaking the skin)
which now are enough. She no longer uses scissors or glass.
Over the last year and a half, I have seen L blossom from frustrated
young lady who would never hold her head up or look at someone, to someone who
smiles much of the time and is starting to feel that she is achieving
things. She has self-published a collection of poems through Amazon
and this weekend is reading a story she has written at an event put on by her
Creative Writing group. L no longer is afraid to tell me when she
has had to fight against the urge to self-harm but is happy to tell me how she
overcame these. L still has bouts of jealousy over her parents but
is learning to control this and is not arguing with them. She spoke
to the Literacy teacher about knowing very little about the world and we have
now started to incorporate geography and current affairs into her
sessions. L regularly attends My Helping Hand where she not only
receives help with Maths, but she is making new friends.
L has had her diagnosis of
BPD rescinded and has been diagnosed with ASD – she feels that this makes so
much more sense to her and has embraced this diagnosis. Since being
discharged from CMHRS shortly after she started attending the Vine Centre, L
has had no suicide attempts (previously she had been hospitalised four times
because of this) and is growing into a more confident and sociable young
lady. L now happily speaks to staff, volunteers and clients at the
Vine and continues to grow in confidence.
|
